KIDs need to Learn

Being a perfectionist mom, and also a mom with limited patience at times, I tend forgot that kids need to learn.

The other day, my 3 year old wanted to fill in her cup with water and took it to the sofa. On the way, as I never expect, spilled the water on the floor as she moved too quickly in my opinion. I made a fuss over that and subsequently feel terrible for not letting her to LEARN. I realize that I have been unreasonably expect her to get things done right the first time.

Being too busy with life, work and chores has made me forgetting this very important thing, that kids need time to learn, and they learn from mistakes. I am writing this post to remind us parents that this time shall pass, and we will definitely miss those moments when our kids did mistakes, those time we guided them on the right way of doing things while we cleaned the mess. All these are temporary. Looking forward, when we reach the day our kids leave our home for studies or to pursue their very own lives, leaving us with a quiet & clean home to take care of, you know that you miss those moment, the moment you are living in now, the moment you child is still clinging to you, talking to you, holding your hands, begging you to read another bed time story.

We do not want kids to just listen to instruction, we want to raise them to be independent, and in order to do so, mistakes are inevitable. Mistakes are so inevitable and important as it forms a part of the learning process. We as adults do learn new things in our lives, and we do expect ourselves to make mistakes before we can master the new skills. So we should not expect our child to master a skill the first time doing it, just because we think that it is easy.

In short, we have to remind ourselves the followings:

EXPECT : Mistakes, a lot of them.
EMBRACE : Our kids is still attached to us right now
EXTRA : Praises when they learn from mistakes

How to handle frustrated toddler in public

Yes, it happen again and again despite telling them in a calming voice that they are not suppose to climb the racks, to play with the pasta sauce jar and take whatever they think is theirs. They ignore, continue with their exploration happily. Then you say 'No' in a firm voice. Next second, they decided to grab the public attention by lying on the floor and whine. They try to test your limit.

I did a lot of reading on this, admit and know that it is perfectly normal for a toddler to behave like this, that I have to stay calm, to use a firm voice etc etc. None work for me personally. I feel that she is over-powering me time after time. So I decided to use my very own way.

1) REASON : I will of course try to reason with her, tell her in a firm voice, that racks are for groceries, that we do not need pasta sauce right now, and that the barbie does not belong to her.

2) TELL CONSEQUENCE: She ignores me, continue with where she is. I will tell her firmly 'No, if you continue your act, I presume that you do not like grocery shopping, and we will go home together.

3) WALK YOUR TALK: Then she enters into the whining stage. I will hug her and carry her (while she is crying) to the car, put her down while she is struggling, and remind her that we will go home together and will go grocery shopping the next time. This is the most difficult step. Just remember you need not feel embarrassed being watched by public because you are one of the parents who just reaches the junction of public parenting where all other parents will reach or has reached at the different point of time and at different place. Keep reminding yourself that you did this for the sake of raising your child.


I did this for 2 times before she understand I mean what I say and that she will not get what she wants if she acts poorly. Not long after that it happens again, I use the same method and by the 4th time, she learns that she is not going anywhere if she does not listen. Now, she loves grocery shopping as much as I do and the stress is gone. At times, I will still have to remind her not to touch some items, but not a struggle anymore.

I strongly believe that we parents know our child best, and that no one method works for all children. I decided to share this so that my girl knows how naughty is she when she was young, alright just joking. I am trying to share one of the thousand methods which may work with your child. If you think this may work, then by all means try it. But if you feel this will not work, just move on and find another way.